The most important things needed to live a good life are simple.

1. Faith.
2. Accept you are not in control.
3. Let your faith fuel resilience in you when things don’t turn out as expected.
4. Be optimistic.
5. Be grateful.

While these tools are easy to understand, they also can be easy to forget under pressure. I’ve certainly forgotten them in “woe is me” moments and have needed reminders from others in my life.

Find Inspiration from Others Journey to Success

I was reminded of these tools when interviewing a classmate I went to college with a few months back. She started an interior design business a few years ago. I often find myself gazing at pictures she posts of businesses and homes she helped renovate. I reached out to her because I’ve admired her from afar over the years, and wanted to learn the secrets behind her success. I wondered things like:

• Did she juggle a 9-5 while chasing her dream at any point? If so, how did she balance the responsibilities of her job while carving out time to pursue what she really wanted?
• How does she overcome fear?
• What walls did she hit when building her business, and how did she overcome them?
• What strategies does she use to strengthen her faith when negative thoughts entered her mind about pursuing her dream?

I wanted to ask her these questions because I realized these were my own obstacles that I’d allowed to stop me from pursuing my own dreams. I thought if I could hear from someone who also once felt these things, but pushed past them, I could succeed. Their success would show me I could do it, too.

Instead of continuing to wonder about her process, I decided to DM her on Instagram letting her know I admired her, and that I would love to hear her story. I figured she could either ignore my message or respond. She responded. I was so excited.

We ended up meeting virtually about a month after I reached out. I could’ve talked to her for hours. Her story was so inspiring and helped me see changes I needed to implement in my mindset, and actions I needed to take if I truly wanted to leave my old self behind. Here’s a snippet from our interview.

Me: Did you have a 9-5 while chasing your dream at any point? If so how were you able to balance the responsibilities of your job and carve out time to pursue what you really wanted?

Indira: Yes. I still work a 9-5 at my architecture firm because I love it. I’ve been here for 10 years. I eventually want to do restaurant design full time. The firm I work at… our bread and butter is restaurants. My first year working here was so hard. In general in life, you don’t become a good architect until 20 years in. This is a process. Architecture is competitive. It’s a solo team sport. I’m introverted and like this aspect of the industry.

I didn’t mean to open a business. It was an accident. I like working at my firm. I like working with clients and working from home with flexibility. I really believe in divine timing. Serendipity is real. I believe in things aligning. The opportunity to start my business came from a friend.

Prior to working at the firm I’d gone back to school after teaching a few years. I realized I missed using my hands and remembered Professor Dudley telling me I had a skill set for design. Things in my life were on fire during that grad school program. Architecture is crazy. It’s strenuous. They don’t care if you don’t sleep. You have to meet the deadline. I did it for 2 ½ years. It consumed my whole life. As a result a relationship I was in ended.

To cope, I started doing hot yoga. It was in my hot yoga class that I met a girl who had an Agnes ring on (At the school we went to you get a black onyx ring during your sophomore year. When you receive the ring you join the Black Ring Mafia and become a Scottie Sister for life. If you see a woman with the ring on you know she went to our school, and you also know she’s dope! It’s an instant connection). I approached her after class. Her name was Kristy.

Four years later Kristy opened a yoga studio. She approached me to design it. I didn’t feel prepared, and explained to her that I didn’t have my own clients. I was assigned clients through the firm. She assured me she trusted me and knew I could do it.  

I did the yoga studio and then another opportunity fell in my lap. Opportunities kept falling in my lap. Now I have no one to report to. I get the final say. One thing led to another and I kept garnishing business.

Eventually I want to work half time.  I have two investment properties. I recently flipped one. It’s a new point of this business. My gut told me I needed to stage my property for my career. In my head I was like no, there’s no way this isn’t going to work out. Do the work. Be fully committed to figuring out what you want to do so when opportunity comes you are ready.

Initially maybe you’ll feel you don’t belong. However, if you’re doing it, you wouldn’t be able to do it if you didn’t belong. If you keep at what you want, it eventually comes to you.

Serendipity

SO much to unpack here.

First, let me admit that I didn’t know what serendipity was when I interviewed her. I’d heard of a movie called Serendipity, which I never watched. For a long time, I didn’t know what people meant when they say they believe in serendipity. So, I googled it.

That google search led to me finding the definition, and a Ted Talk that further inspired me to be open to the unexpected.

Serendipity is the idea that unexpected good luck can bring good things to you.

In the Ted Talk below, author Paul Hannam gives a ton of advice on the proper mindset needed to bring good things your way in life. I highly recommend watching the entire video but if you’re in a hurry I especially appreciated him quoting The Rolling Stones to tell us, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you get what you need.” Hannam’s take on those famous lines is that in life things can go in ways that are unexpected. Initially we may respond by thinking doom has fallen upon us. Little do we know the things we thought were bad were actually for our good and led us to what we needed to thrive.

He ends by charging listeners to embrace resilience, optimism, and appreciation. If you embody these qualities in life, good things are certain to come your way. You know how to take bad things and flip them so they become advantageous. You also know how to see the good in every situation.

I’m still grappling with the idea of serendipity. I think I need to learn more about it. For now, I’ll say that personally, I believe the Lord brings good things to you at unexpected times when you exercise faith, resilience, optimism, gratitude, and reliance on him in the midst of things seemingly falling apart in your life. I believe he does this to encourage you to keep believing you can achieve your dreams even when current circumstances seem to be saying you can’t. I also think the good things show up in packaging we didn’t expect or even necessarily think we wanted because he knows what we really need to get where we need to be. Our perspective is limited. We only see what’s in front of us. His perspective is omniscient. He sees all that’s been, all that is, and all that will be.

Divine Timing & Alignment

Indira stated she believed in divine timing and alignment. I didn’t include it in the excerpt above but she went on to state that’s what meant for you is for you. Your job in the waiting season is to believe whole heartedly that it is meant for you, and to prepare for the opportunity when it is presented. Because she deeply believes this she spent a lot of time preparing for the opportunities that fell into her lap.

Prior to her working at the firm and prior to her friend asking her to design her yoga studio she was in grad school building her portfolio. Outside of working on her portfolio she was constantly putting her intentions out there when people would ask about her career aspirations. It was her preparation when opportunities weren’t coming that led to her being ready when they finally arrived.

My takeaway from listening to this aspect of her story was if I was serious about being a writer I needed to actually write. I needed to do it consistently and in a variety of ways. I needed to seek feedback to get better. I needed to join a community of writers to learn about opportunities. I needed to put my intentions out into the universe. I needed to do all things so I’d be ready at that unexpected moment when God decided to present me with opportunity.

A few months ago someone told me good luck is when preparation meets opportunity. I’d never considered that but it makes so much sense. People aren’t just lucky. Things don’t just work out quickly without effort. To quote Indira, “Do the work. Be fully committed to figuring out what you want to do so when opportunity comes, you’re ready.” Be ready for divine timing and alignment.

Conclusion

The most important things needed to live a good life aren’t money, flashy cars, status, and physical beauty. All these things are fleeting and temporary. Pursuing them in isolation will lead to disappointment.

The things we need to enjoy a good life are our faith, reliance on God, resilience when things inevitably don’t go the way we thought they should, optimism, and gratitude. With these things we can endure and overcome anything that comes our way. With these things we experience true joy and peace that surpasses our own understanding. These things lead to the good life.

If you’re in a tough season or experiencing a transition I would encourage you to:

1. Reflect on what you want. What does it look like? Sound like? Feel like? Write it down. If writing isn’t your thing, sketch it out. Whatever you do visualize it. See it. See yourself doing it.
2. Start preparing for what you want. Preparation can look like: volunteering, going to conferences with others who are doing what you want, going back to school, getting a certification, reading books from experts in that field, interviewing people who are doing what you want or something similar to it. Whatever you do, don’t just think about what you want. Take action. Taking action gets you one step closer to realizing what’s going on in your mind.
3. More than anything believe. Have faith. Move knowing if you have faith, try, and trust in the Lord it works out. That’s how he designed it. “And we know all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.”

And while embodying these things isn’t always easy, the life they lead to is worth it. Hoping you choose the good life.

Until next time,

Jeanine