I have a confession to make: I am finding it difficult to keep blogging. It stems from disappointment. My blogging journey hasn’t been meeting my expectations.

I looked up the word disappointment to make sure it is an accurate word to describe what I feel when I check stats on my posts. Disappointment is defined as:

• A saddening situation; let down
• Synonyms: failure, obstacle, setback

I found myself thinking, Yep, that’s how I’ve been feeling. Sad. Let down. Like I’m failing.

When I started this blog I expected more people to read my entries, and I expected it to be more of a dialogue than a monologue. I think I had these expectations because (1) I had a blog in the past on this site called blogger.com (Is blogger still popular? I’m curious!) and I recall receiving a lot of comments on my posts. (2) My first post on WordPress was really popular. It far exceeded my expectations with view count and comments. Now I’m wondering if it was just beginner’s luck!

Dealing with these negative feelings has revealed an area of my life that needs improvement: how I think and respond when things don’t turn out as expected.

I attended a workshop on Saturday related to this area of improvement that had a huge impact on me. It was a workshop about how our minds, bodies and souls are connected. The speaker opened the workshop by saying, “Today we are going to look at our mindsets. We will see how they affect our bodies and then our souls. This brings me to my first key point. The mind is where the battle for everything begins.”

She then directed us to turn to Romans 12:2. It reads,

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Romans 12:2, The Bible

After reading the scripture aloud she walked us through a method she called F.I.R.E. to help us understand what the scripture was saying and apply action to change something about ourselves in response. The F.I.R.E. method is in the table below.

F – Fuel (Read the Scripture)	Start with reading God’s word. Find the truth and unpack the word for understanding.
I – Ignite (Observe carefully and reflect)	Ask: “What is God saying?” Let the verse light up a thought, feeling, or new awareness. “What hit me the most?”
R – Refuel (Think, Renew, and Apply Personally)	Apply it personally. What needs a reset? Let God renew your mindset and restore your strength. “What’s God shifting in me?”
E – Engage (Respond actively and pray)	Live it out and share it. “What’s my next move?” Turn insight into action, walk it out today. “How will I live this out?”

We then conducted the F.I.R.E. method on Romans 12:2.

Step 1: Fuel – Unpack the word to understand

Two things hit me most in response to this verse. (1) Reject the world’s values, behaviors, and attitudes and (2) Transform myself by changing my thinking. I need to alter the way I think. These two things hit me the most because I realized it’s my pride that’s hurt when it comes to my blog’s performance and it’s my pride that’s hurt when I consider how I may appear outwardly as I’m reinventing my professional career (Mentioning reinventing my career probably feels random in this post! If you’ve been following along with me I quit my job without a plan 11 months ago and I’ve been slowly figuring out what the next half of my career looks like. It’s been uncomfortable, scary, rewarding and transforming simultaneously.) Neither thing is taking off quickly and these realities have not only been uncomfortable but they are also humbling.

Speaking of discomfort a message that I keep getting from different sources – people in my life, books I’m reading, conferences I’m attending, and podcasts I listen to is this: discomfort is good. It’s actually comfort that is dangerous. Discomfort is good because it makes us aware something needs to change in our lives. It moves us to act. Comfort on the other hand does not spur us to do anything differently and is therefore dangerous. Comfort maintains the status quo. Discomfort disrupts it and leads to growth.

I said all this to say unpacking this verse has spurred me to re-evaluate my values and change my thinking. I am committing to rejecting being obsessed with how I appear outwardly and embracing the deep inner transformation that is happening inside of me no matter how it appears to others. I am embracing failure, rejection, disappointment, and setbacks knowing that with a godly perspective these things will lead to me becoming stronger, learning more and finding true contentment in the Lord’s will for my life.

My prayer moving forward:

Heavenly Father, help me transform my thinking so that it is in line with your will for my life. Help me to reject the prevailing behaviors, values, and attitudes of this world. Help me to clearly see your will and trust your plan for me. In Jesus name, amen.

Finally, when it comes to my blog, I am committing to continuing to write even when it feels like I’m talking to myself (lol). I am reminded that before I got that initial thrill of dialogue with my readers that I originally started this because I wanted to:

• Strengthen my writing skills
• Document my transformation journey
• Embrace being a writer (In the past I struggled with not thinking my writing was good enough, so I didn’t share it. I started this to remove that fear)

Life can be funny. You get distracted in your journey or take a detour and forget the whole reason you decided to take the journey in the first place. Knowing why I started I am further committed to continuing to show up on the good days and bad days, knowing this journey of self-transformation won’t be linear but it will be worth it.

Until next time,

Jeanine