The year is 1992. The show is The Real World. The station is MTV, and the episode begins with that iconic tagline that goes a little something like this: “This is the true story…of seven strangers…picked to live in a house…work together…and have their lives taped…to find out what happens…when people stop being polite…and start getting real…”
I was 3 when that episode aired so I did not watch it. I did discover the show some time in the early 2000s and clearly watched a ton of episodes (The Real World Las Vegas 2002 cast, I see you!). The tagline came to me while I was getting my son dressed for a walk this morning and thinking about a moment that occurred 3 weeks ago when someone chose to stop being polite and start getting real about why I wasn’t making progress in my career pivot. She looked at me and said, “Your mindset is sh-t, sis. Excuse my cursing, I’m a Brooklyn girl, we talk straight.”
That person was a career coach. I signed up for a consultation with her to get help rebranding myself for my next career move. Needless to say the meeting did not go the way I had in mind, but it was the push I needed to start doing some serious work on my inner dialogue. I’m 9 months into my career shift. Since resigning from my last job I’ve been working on myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Along the way I have encountered people who have encouraged me to believe in myself, and then things will fall into place. I heard them, but I didn’t hear them. This coach’s delivery…. message received, okay? For every excuse and false narrative I created in my mind, she had a comeback.
“What do you want to do?” she asked.
“I want to write.”
“Then just write,” she replies.
“It’s not that simple.”
“You say you want to write, do you journal?”
“No.”
“Do you blog?”
“No.”
“I don’t believe you. You don’t want to be a writer. You don’t.”
In my head I’m thinking, “Yes, I do! It’s hard!” I must have had a look on my face because she then said, “What’s stopping you from writing?”
“I’m a perfectionist. I always have been. I like being the bes-“
“That’s bullish-t. Sorry. Brooklyn girl. Perfectionism is an excuse. You’re picking and choosing perfectionism. I bet you have dirty dishes in the sink. I bet you have dirty laundry on the floor. I work with clients all the time and everybody likes to say they’re perfectionists because it sounds good. The truth is I’m a perfectionist about the sh-t I don’t want to start, because it takes some effort. You’re not a perfectionist. You’re afraid of being disappointed so you don’t try.”
Ooh wee, baby, I wasn’t ready! I wasn’t ready! She read me, okay???? I had no comeback because she was right, is right. All this time I’ve been believing that what I want is too hard to achieve, too unpredictable, too risky. So I played it safe. I went after jobs that provided a stable paycheck, jobs that had a clear path to moving up. I went after these things knowing deep down I didn’t want them because I knew I’d be “successful.” I’d get hired. Meanwhile what I really wanted took effort, and it was still deep in my heart nudging me to just try but I kept pushing it down. My beliefs dictated my actions.
We talked for 90 minutes that day. She dropped a lot of gems during that conversation and I am so grateful the Lord put it on my mind to reach out to her. He used her to answer my prayers.
This blog is a result of my conversation with her and it is a result of more answered prayers. I’m here to tell you if you believe in the power of faith, if you believe in the power of God (or the universe), if you believe in manifesting… things will line up in your life. People will come, opportunities will come and there is no way to explain the events happening but to accept that the Lord hears you and he is rewarding your faith in him and your faith in yourself.
One final thing that was said to me during that 90 minute call that has stayed with me is this. The best free-throw shooter in the NBA is the best free-throw shooter not based on sheer luck. He is the best because off the court he is shooting 500 free throws a day. Do you think he’s making all 500 of them shots? No, he isn’t. But he’s trying. And as a result of his trying he is getting better every day. You can make it. It’s impossible to not make it if you show up every day. Pick up your pen and write.
So here’s to trying! And here’s to hoping that my trying inspires others to try, too.

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